A while back I mentioned that one of the scary things I’ve done recently is leaving the safety of full-time employment to spend more time with my mom while she’s dealing with ovarian cancer and commit to writing more seriously. It certainly wasn’t the wisest thing to do; I was making good money, had a director title, and was making a lot of headway on paying down our debts. I talked to a lot of people in the course of making this decision, and invariably, they would say, “Follow your dreams!”
While I obviously agree with this advice in principle (and ended up following it), there’s a certain privilege inherent in dream following. I’m incredibly fortunate to have a husband whose income could sustain us while I was searching for a part-time job (and still sustains our ability to pay the mortgage and do things like eat). Because of my employment background, I was able to find work that pays well above the going rate for your average nonprofit part-time job. We’ve been responsible, took out a reasonably-priced mortgage and car loan, and have paid off most of our student loan debt. So in some ways, one can look at me and say I’ve worked hard and pulled myself up by my bootstraps and earned what I have. Cool.
The truth is, though, a lot of it has nothing to do with hard work or responsibility. First of all, I’m white. Let’s just get that out of the way. I came from a low-income family, but it was one that valued education, and that could reasonably pass for middle-class. My mom read to me when I was little and pushed me towards college. I got need-based grants and scholarships that allowed me to go to a highly-ranked school and not drown in debt. So far, I’ve never had to deal with unmanageable hospital bills or a sudden loss of income. I’ve never been arrested or evicted so I’ve had a pretty easy time finding housing, getting credit, and passing background checks.
It’s not that I haven’t screwed up. I’ve made plenty of mistakes stemming from anxiety or depression or laziness or apathy. But I’ve had second chances and good luck. I have a job that I love because I asked the right people the right questions at the right time. Whenever I see another inspirational Pinterest quote, all I can think of are the people who can’t risk making uncertain choices. This (along with not being a giant dickhead) is one of the major reasons to advocate for an expanded social safety net. A low-income single mother would be scorned for working part-time to spend more time with her children, while my decision was celebrated. And that is grade A bullshit.
